Well I just turned twenty-four recently, I’m close to the
quarter century mark, yea laugh it up I’m pretty sure most of you reading this
are closer to a half century. Oh yea I said it! Anyways It took me a long time to get here. Lots of changes that
I went through to make it here alive, some very good ones, and some not so good
ones. However they all got me here, and I wouldn't change any of them for the
world. Today I woke up, and I realized something, I am happy. I am really
happy, and to be quite honest I can’t remember the last time I felt this way.
I finally see that, and I am accepting that I’m creating my
own happiness. I no longer am waiting for something to just happen. I get up
every single day with a purpose and that purpose is to just be me. To do what I
want with my life and with what I have available to me. Most of my life I tried
to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be, and the more that I look back at
it now the more that I see everyone really just wanted me to be myself. The
people that mattered anyway.
People seem to think that you have to chase happiness, that
you have to find it. Much like people seem to think that you have to “find
yourself”. You can’t find happiness, happiness finds you. It’s much like
anything that you want, the more you seem to want it, and the more you seem to
search for it, the more it just falls
away from you. Then once you stop
searching and stop digging for that ultimate “happy high” that’s when you find
it, and that’s where it’s waiting for you.
I once told someone I needed to find myself to be happy.
Once I find myself and figure out who I am then all my happiness will fall into
place. What I didn’t understand is that you DONOT find yourself you CREATE
yourself. To find something means that it was once lost. I don’t really believe
that we ever “lose” ourselves. Now when I look at it I see that every human
being is a blank canvas and every person is their own artist. We have the power
to create who we are, to be our own Leonardo, and make our life, our own Mona
Lisa Smile. Everything we do, we created, and every choice we make we decided;
because at one point everything we did was exactly what we wanted.
I do believe that everything happens for a reason. That our life changes so that we can learn to change, to make that adjustment, or to throw on the paint thinner and start all over. I believe that people change so that we can learn it’s okay to let go. No matter how hard it is, because if they have changed it means you also have changed. Everything in your life has a purpose, and it’s purpose is to help you create your best masterpiece of all. Yourself.
